Sometimes You Eat the Bear, Sometimes the Bear Eats You

Today has not been the best day.

After riding high on the excitement of taking my first Kung Fu class over the weekend, I now find myself on this Tuesday with my head aching and my anxiety exploding through the roof. I had intended on taking another Kung Fu class tonight, but I think it’ll have to wait until tomorrow.

As I like to do, especially these days, I thought it would be good practice to examine what is the origin of this anxiety and why my day has been so “bad.”

Whenever I say I’ve had a bad day, I remember this quote I once saw that said, “Did you have a bad day, or did you have a bad ten minutes that you milked all day?” In most situations, it was just a few bad moments that I couldn’t let go. Today, it wasn’t even a specific moment. It was just a bunch of little things I found myself irritated with. A rude customer here, or pushy customer there, and folks not following directions were just some of the aggravations I’ve dealt with, but these were not the main source of my headache.

The number one issue is lack of sleep. Despite doing better with getting to bed earlier on the weekends, I found myself Sunday night, tossing and turning, and watching as the clock only grew later and later. The five or so hours I ended up getting were not enough, and I felt it all day yesterday.

I had a frustrating doctor’s appointment yesterday, and then my wife came home in tears. Working for the government is not pleasant these days, and her dream job has slowly begun to fade away and she’s not taking it well. Of course, I want to fix this, but there is nothing I can do, and that is the second biggest source of my frustration. Thinking about how I can’t help her led to me getting a second straight night of a bad sleep. When I woke up and realized there was no way to make it to my Kung Fu class, and that I had to deal with a new situation at work, it only just exacerbated everything. And so, today, I’ve sat here, trying to put out fires, dealing with a headache that won’t go away, all while popping caffeine pills and trying to remain calm with classical music on in the background.

My job is also on the fence these days due to funding, and I have an offer that I need to make a decision on in the next few days. This has added even more stress to my plate, and well… I think it may be time to leave government work behind. There is so much more I could write about work, but I’m just going to leave it at that.

Is there anything I can do about this day? Nope, not really. Some days just stink and today is one of them. What I can do for myself is to pop some melatonin tonight, get in bed early, and try and get a good night’s sleep. Accept the day as a lost and work towards a better one tomorrow. As the title of this post suggests, “Somedays you eat the bear, some days the bear eats you.” Today is a day when the bear has eaten me.

Update: Well, I decided to go to Kung Fu and Tai Chi after all. I was tired and not 100% but I’m glad I went.