Worry Outcome Journal

Like everyone else on this Godforsaken planet, I suffer from anxiety. It’s something I experience so often, I’m not even sure I could imagine a life where I wasn’t panicking about car trouble, money issues, the safety of my wife, or that weird limp I woke up with. On a good day, I can manage it and keep it in check. On a bad day, I allow it to run rampant, and I find myself angry, scared, and exhausted.

Last week, I read somewhere about a Worry Outcome Journal. This led me to research exactly what that was, and the response was all over the place. I wish I could remember exactly where I first heard about it, but this study presented at the Anxiety and Depression Association of American Conference in 2017 was the closest I could find that mirrored the sentiment in the original article. The idea is you keep a log of worrisome thoughts and then update the log with the outcome of the event. Did the thing you are worried about come true? Or was it a waste of mental space?

I have not had much success with mood logs or gratitude journals, and my experience with CBT and medications has not been favorable either, but I’m always willing to try something new that may offer a bit of peace in my life, and so for the past week I’ve kept a Worry Outcome Journal.

I like the idea of manually writing out my worries, but I can’t always keep my journal on me. So, if my journal is not nearby, and I realize I’m fixated on something happening, I type it out in Apple Notes to preserve the worry, and eventually I move it to my handwritten journal.

Since starting this about a week ago, I’ve logged twelve major worries, eleven of which did not happen and one that can’t be determined (Is there something more wrong with my foot than just plantar fasciitis?). It’s only been a week, but has it been helpful?

It’s hard to tell. I do think seeing my worries in a physical form is helpful and me sticking a huge X next to them and explaining what ended up happening is comforting. Realizing that most of my worries are unfounded is reassuring.

The study was completed over a ten-day period, so I’m not that far off from the results of the study, which found that 91% of all worries were unsubstantiated. However, ten days is a pretty terrible sample size, and for folks with Generalized Anxiety Disorder the exercise was not helpful and did not make a difference in the worry-related beliefs. Being that I was diagnosed with GAD when I was just a teenager, I guess the odds are not in my favor that this is going to be helpful. Then again, all the books I’ve read, the therapy I’ve gone to, and pills I’ve taken have really helped all that much either.

I plan on experimenting with this process for a few more weeks. I’m curious if something will click inside my head that I worry about things that don’t typically come to pass. I think if I could learn that it would take the edge off of my anxiety and maybe offer me a bit more control over my thoughts.